American Expose

On an American road from civil Virginia towards California, nothing worth saying ever happens but God damned that’s gotta be its worth, right. We went out not right away like we’d planned but after the cops came it took us a few more days to set things right and then we got on the road and didn’t talk ‘bout Virginia till we’d hit California a year later.

What had been going on was a great deal of events that mattered then a lot more than they matter now. We’ve got a lot more emotions about what didn’t happen now than what did and we sometimes, my little brother and I, talk about going back and living up again what didn’t happen or what did happen years back when we were just young. We talk about going back not to civil Virginia but to the house we did the important parts of our growing in.

When we’d went out at first I remember we didn’t say anything for an hour and just played the music that we’d picked to fit the road we’d chosen. It was either cool or warm and the sun I’m sure enough was out not that any of that matters now as it did then, and even then, what mattered was the house and then what mattered more was closing that door and peeking in right before it shut hoping to see a face that should’ve god damned been there but hadn’t come up and haunted us the whole vacation. What mattered to us was a great deal of needing to know that when we left home those planks that rotted in the summer storms would still be there and would still be falling off in the summer storms.

But weren’t we saying any of that, we were all silence, all silence that played out until we came over that hill approaching Culpepper and saw the Blue Ridge grow and everytime us Virginians know you’ve got to appreciate the blue ridge because none of us but me had ever seen the Rockies. So we said, there they are! And I said as I’d said a half dozen times to just him, wait till you see the Rockies, Chris, those are some mountains! After that, we were little but excitement but that doesn’t make a thing worth telling more than forgetfully so I’ll tell you the better parts I have no choice not forgetting.

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