pills | pistols

She passed quietly away some night near the middle of the Summer a day or two before her birthday. She spent the hours before looking in the mirror thinking of pretty lines to say to the boy and they came out sounding like Hollywood but she’d never know that

‘I love you so much, I always will, nothing can change that, but –

The noose ‘round her throat felt tough on her skin, too tough so she went to a cabinet and found something to eat instead

And maybe they tasted like the air or like rust but only for a while and without an aftertaste. And after where she woke only she knew and if not her than half the world asleep in their nightmares

And they said her body kept struggling and was laid out begging like a crucifix. And the line of her skin traced up from her hips to her shoulders would’ve looked the same to the man a decade before. Well the man she’d murdered they’d kept her from so she went to him to apologize. And her heart skipped a beat when they saw –

And as she returned she shed what had held her to the Earth and the weight came onto us all through the dirt and I dizzied when I felt the air and the rust slide along my throat and I loved every moment of it till it dragged me to the floor and laid me out like a bent crucifix watched by high above from what I hadn’t relinquished to the air and the rust

Her hands went beneath me and gave me her restrained heat and all the while I felt warm as she went with her poisoned soul and delivered us from her


She’d left the light off for the police so they wouldn’t have to see for another moment dead children and her mother’d flicked it on. And between us nothing changed but it all went with the past as I tasted the air and rust off her lips and heard her whisper –

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