The next day he called and she had no idea he’d been the one who’d left the flowers and was so surprised and she didn’t apologize at first because she hadn’t realized anything and though she said she hadn’t forgotten he knew she had and then when he stressed it a little more by not talking she realized a lot and started apologizing and saying she was dumb and that she’d been drunk and so he hung up. He saw her name on the computer screen on Spotify listening to music and he put on a song called ‘fuck you’ just in hopes that she’d see it but he took it off quick cause he thought that was too much and put on ‘cold-blooded’ instead. Much later they saw each other in the car because they went on a date to the movies because he wanted to give her a chance to fix it and she gave him a necklace and said some things and seemed sad about it all and he didn’t feel much.
He should’ve said more clearly what he felt but he always tempers things because when you’re not dating you don’t have a right to anything and even when you are it’s only until the other person gets too tired of your rights. So he said things like it hurt him and he felt young and used but he should’ve said things he hadn’t found the words for yet like ‘I don’t feel like you make time for me’ or, ‘I don’t think you have time in your life for me’ or, ‘I feel like an afterthought’. But those words would only come about a few nights after.
They went back to his place and laid on the couch after saying hi to friends and walking along the park and he was drunk enough. They went back and they had sex and she was sad immediately after he could tell but he didn’t say anything because he wanted to hang onto the significance of the moment and wanted above all for her not to tell him he was fucking awful at using his dick. And the next day he drove her back home and he asked why she was sad and didn’t let her go till she was happy and she told him she was sad last night and now because she knew how much all of this would hurt the old boy she’d loved. Well, he couldn’t be totally quiet because they were alone in the car so he changed the topic and tried to make her happy and it must’ve worked because when she left she was smiling and he drove home feeling nothing.